Patriotic American Flag Underwear

The eagle has landed, but that sucker needs a soft and supportive nest to lay those precious pearly eggs. Enter the American flag boxer briefs and American flag thongs loaded up with ol’ pappy Shinesty’s scrote snugglin’, ball balancing, sack serenity that is the Ball Hammock American flag boxers and Her Hammock seamless patriotic thong. No more must your plumage go unheld and un-american-flagged. Rep that roaring eagle American flag underwear where it belongs and make honest Abe proud of his legacy.

There's a difference between someone who wears the stars and bars for the world to see and the person who wears layers of American flag themed clothing. Both are patriots, yes, however, one has an unwavering love for their country, where the other is more of a fair-weather fan. You know the ones, they don't care about the team until the playoffs and weren't there for the other 100 games (I'm looking at you, Phillies fans).

American flag themed underwear is the optimal way to show your love and support for this fine nation. In such a divided time, we can agree on a few things: no one likes humidity, hot dogs are damn good, and it doesn't matter what beer it is as long as it's cold and ain't imported. At the foundation of every moment lies a pair of underwear that's cradling your crotch and keeping your privates intact. So, whether that's American flag thongs or American flag boxers, there's really no better way to love your country.

Let's talk about quality for a second. Shinesty carries the finest pairs of seamless thongs and ball hammock boxers the world has ever seen. And by world, I strictly mean America. Fellas, you ever place your plums in a nest constructed by oxidation and comfort? Ladies, have you ever experienced a thong that makes you happier than a woman in an Evian commercial? These are your grandparents underwear, we're talking about seamless sexy appeal and American flag comfort.
Patriotic underwear represent an unprecedented level of commitment. It's the American dream, putting your faith behind a country that has provided us all with so much.